Learning to Be Content in Your Relationships Lesson 5

Relationships...the people you know and the people you relate with. A personal testimony is how I will begin this lesson. I am sitting in the airport as I write, on stand-by, trying to return home from a short trip to Kentucky for the funeral of a very special lady who has been a very dear friend of mine for about 28 years.



Lynn Elder...I first met her when both our families moved into new homes across the street from one another near Louisville, Kentucky. She was just two years older than me, she had two girls and a step son, we had our three children with our youngest only 2 months old. We lived across the street from one another for 8 short years and our friendship lasted a life time. I started having Bible studies with Lynn around her kitchen table, she had lots of questions, and I was always nervous about whether or not I could answer them. Her husband was not saved or were their children. We started a children's Bible club in our living room and their children came. Sometime later they allowed us to have an adult Bible study in their livingroom where Albert taught about end times. Lynn started growing in her relationship with the Lord, Larry got saved as did their children. I got to take Lynn to the hospital the day she was in labor with their fourth child.



After we moved away, we tried to say in touch, but now as I look back, I wish we had seen one another more. We would stop by and see them when we were traveling. We would call and write from time to time. Two years ago, knowing Lynn was sick with cancer, I wanted to go spend a few days with her. It was a precious time together that I will always cherish. We felt as though we were sister not just friends. We had a special understanding or insight into the feelings and emotional needs of one another. We spent a lot of time together as young mothers, encouraging and helping each other. Relationships don't just happen they are developed over time and they take work. But the reward of those relationship are so precious. The reward for me was being able to be with the now grown children, as now Larry and Lynn are both in glory with our Lord. This family with 4 children, 3 married and 11 grandchildren are living for the Lord.

Learnng to be content in your relationship...Lesson 5.

Being content with all the people our lives touch is sometimes hard. Good relationships, like the one with Lynn continues to bring untold joy and a great sense of contentment. Broken relationships, unforgiveness, hard feelings cause problems with everything in your life. Hebrews 12:15 says "Lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and therby many be defiled." Forgiveness, true forgivness is essential if you have offended or been offended to regain the joy and contentment in relationships with people in your life.

We may reason that it "hurts" to much to deal with; or that they don't "deserve" to be forgiven. We simply must be reminded from the scripture Christ's great love as He choose to die for our sins. Did it "hurt"? Do we "deserve" to be forgiven. The author, Juanita Purcell states: "When a relationship is broken, most people attack the person rather than the problem. Another mistake people make in broken relationships is to ignore or cover them up, as if they had not happened. Words inflicted in the heart must be dealt with, or they will grow like a cancer. Some people treat relationships as disposable goods; they just discard them. Fixing relatinships seems to be more trouble than the relatinships are worth."

According to God's Word we need to restore broken relatinships. Christ paid the price of death so that you and I could be reconciled to God. Jeremiah 31:3 tells of an everlasting love God has for us. Christ humbled himself ( Philippians 2:8) in obedience because He loves us so much. But in many cases we "think" we are better than the offender so we lift ourselves up in pride refusing to be humble and obedient to God. Don't be afraid to humble yourself or open yourself up to be hurt. God will use a humble spirit to mend a broken relationship that will be priceless in the future.

Several times Lynn and I had disagreements in our early years of friendship. I felt lonely and broken until the relationship was mended. The gift of a "friend" is worth the pain it may take to repair a broken relationship. My friend Lynn didn't know the friends she had. I heard her say that no one will come when she died. At her funeral, there were many family members there remembering her life, as well as many friends...lives she had touched because as the Pastor said at her memorial service "she was an 'others' person"...always reaching out to help and give and encourage.

I believe one of the biggest things that separates friends is assuming you know what the other person "might be thinking". My Bible (and your's too) says to think on things that are true, not on things that "might be". Also we are taught that to have friends we must be a friend. Put aside feelings, that probably are not even real, and have a life full by joy by having lots of friends.

Having contentment in my relationships does not just happen, I have to choose to work on it. I may have hurt you or you may have hurt me. Let's humble ourselves and forgive one another so that we can be free from an unforgiving, bitter spirit. Unforgiveness and bitterness are costly. The freedom from forgiveness is peace, joy and contentment - a great value that we cannot put a price tag on.

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Learning to Be Content in Every Circumstance Lesson 4

An Attitude of Gratitude...most everyone in our world knows the value of a grateful heart. It affects the daily outlook, it is a source of good health, and just overall well-being. There have been books written about how the attitude can change our whole life. With our children's Bible Clubs we ask the children for an "attitude check" to get their attention and then to direct that attention toward God. They shout together "PRAISE THE LORD!" What is your attitude today?



In the lesson this week, we are encouraged to look at Paul's writings in Philippians 4:12 where he has learned to have a grateful heart not only when the going was good, but when things were not so good either. It is easy to be thankful when things are good. But it is another whole issue when we are struggling with hardships. How do you give thanks when things are so hard? It isn't easy, but with the power of God who lives in us we can choose to be thankful for everything!



I love the quote from Matthew Henry in our lesson book, where he wrote the following in his diary after being robbed: "Let me be thankful first, because I was never robbed before; second, because although they took my purse, they did not take my life; third, let me be thankful that although they took my all, it was not much; and fourth, because it was I who was robbed and not I who robbed." A thankful heart is truly a choice!

I Thessalonians 5:18

"In everything give thanks;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

God's desire for me is to a thankful heart...how can I argue with this good God desires for me? Does this have anything to do with living a life of contentment? I believe that this aspect our our life is vital to living a contented life. Being thankful in everything and all things. Read our memory verse again. No matter the circumstances we find ourselves in, we God desires us to be content.



Do you find it easier to find fault, complain and grumble? If you have a ungrateful heart discouragement and discontentment will overcome you. If a grateful heart is the path you choose to follow a contented life will come followed with peace and joy. If you having a hard time getting stated with a thankful heart, turn to Psalm 107 and see some things God wants us to be grateful for. Count your blessing, they are there if you choose to look for them. A good exercise to help determine your attitude is to make a chart and list your complaints and thanks. Your heart attitude will be revealed by the length of complaints vs thanks.



The Israelites while in the wilderness, had God visibly with them everyday. A cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. They saw the miracles of God's leading and provision on a daily basis. Yet they began to complain and grumble and were discontent with everything. This sin became a pattern and they grumbled and complained. Ungrateful attitudes penetrate into our hearts and minds. Proverbs 23:7 says "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he." Disciplined Bible study and prayer can change this pattern and you can learn to live a grateful life a contented life.



"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:5 We must learn to cast down our ungodly and discouraging thought. We must imprison the unbiblical thought that are in our minds. We must be obedient and pleasing to Christ.



Philippians 4:8 & 9 will help us to direct our thought toward godliness. "Finally brethren, whatever things are true (real), whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, THINK ON THESE THINGS. Those things which you have both learned, and received, and heard, and see in me DO, and the God peace shall be with you."



Be encouraged, trust God in His Word. Don't keep struggling with past issues. Don't keep trying to guess the future. Don't keep trying to fix things happening today. God assures us throughout the Bible of His love, forgiveness, comfort, encouragement, and care. If you find yourself discontent and discouraged, stop and pray. Evaluate your situation and ask yourself if you are dwelling on unbiblical thoughts? Claim the promises in the Word . The author of our study encourages us to try a daily mental exercise in the Bible. Think on these truths as you find yourself thinking unbiblical thought:



Sunday - God is my protector Psalm 91:1,2

Monday - God always does what is right Genesis 18:25

Tuesday - God hears me and wants to help me Psalm 34.4

Wednesday - God is near me Psalm 139:7

Thursday - God has good things planned for His people (yes, even me) Jeremiah 29:11

Friday - God will not give up on me Philippians 1:6

Saturday - god will never give me more than I can bear I Corinthians 10:13



Start your own list of promises from God. Then claim them and stand on them.



A secret to living a life of contentment is giving thanks to God in everything. Have a grateful attitude in the good and bad times. Knowing God in His power is in control.

Learning to Be Content Lesson 3

Paul wrote Philippians when he was in prison. The memory verse for the week Paul states how he had learned to be content in whatever state he was in. How about you? Are you always content? It is easy to be content when "all is well". But when there are waves of trouble, discouragement, frustrations, illness etc. we become discontent. This weeks lesson will be teaching us that the state of being content is a learned response. It doesn't just come automatically when we get saved. The memory verse states "I have learned to be content."

So how do you define "contentment"?

Content isn't getting what we want but being satisfied with what we have.

Rejoice ever more.

Pray without ceasing.

In everything give thanks;

for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

I Thessalonians 5:16 - 18

What is the source of contentment? OR...what enables us to be content at all times and in all circumstances? Philippians 4:13 gives us a big clue as to the source of contentment. "I can do all things....(don't stop yet)... THROUGH CHRIST WHO STRENGTHS ME". Also a favorite verse of mine, Isaiah 40:31 "They that WAIT UPON THE LORD, will renew their strength, they will mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary, they will walk and not faint."

God is our source. He enables, empowers, and strengthens us. We can lean on Him for whatever we need whenever we need it. We can learn to be content in whatever state we are in. To plug into this power source, we must be in the Word of God. Without this connection with our Savior, we will never be content. You've heard the old adage "Sin will keep you from the book, and the book will keep you from sin". Plug into the power source that will enable you be content - READ THE WORD

You don't think Paul had too bad of a life? Read 2 Corinthian 11:23-28. Let this remind you that Paul is a great teacher on this subject, he truly had a hard life, but with his reliance on Christ he has the ability to be content.

The following is from our book, but thought it really needed to be included in this post. A missionary in Africa who faced many trials, learned to be content and this was her recipe:

1. Allow thyself to complain of nothing, not even of the weather

2. Never picture thyself to thyself under any circumstance in which thou are not

3. Never compare thine own lot with that of another

4. Never allow thyself to dwell on the wish that this or that has been, or were, otherwise than it was or is. God Almighty loves thee better and more wisely than thou dost thyself

5. Never dwell on the morrow. Remember that it is God's, not thine. The heaviest part of sorrow often is to look forward to it.

Learning Contentment

We've defined contentment, found it's source, now let's apply this learning...

When we complain, we are not content. Romans 8:28 teaches "that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Do you tend to complain, be discontented when things are not going the way you"think" they should be going? Don't just quote this verse you have heard so many times in your life, apply it. KNOW GOD WORKS ALL THINGS TOGETHER FOR YOUR GOOD! and then live as though you believe it.

The author of this study encourages us to live a "palms-ups" life. When we turn our hands over with our palms up we are accepting whatever God is bringing into our life and then trusting Him to work all things together for His good. God's goal for our life according to verse 29 of Romans 8 is "to be conformed to the image of His Son." Living a palms-up life, accepting what God brings into your life (good or bad), is part of the process of transforming us into HIS IMAGE," learning to be content Don't complain, get weary or frustrated, trust God and wait on Him as He performs the work of transforming us into His image. Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future...BE CONTENT IN THE LORD!

Romans 12:1,2 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world, but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God."

You cannot find contentment from getting what you want...

But from wanting what you already have.

Every person lives in one of two tents:

conTENT

or

disconTENT

In which do you live?

Click on comments and leave your thoughts or insights. Click the anonymous button and publish your comments. Thank you for participating in this study. Remember if you would like to purchase a book, select the Regular Baptist Press link and place your order. If you would like to leave a private comment, e-mail me at pl.armitage@earthlink.net

Your study leader,

Patty Armitage

A Daughter of the King of Kings

FAITH: The First Factor in Finding Contentment

As we begin week 2 of our study on the "Secret of Contentment" by Juanita Purcell, I want to encourage each one to:

• Memorize the verse of the week


• Meditate on God's Word to find wisdom


• Apply the teaching of God's Word


• Pray the Word will help you to grow in the truth

The memory verse this week will cause you to ponder whether you "please God" with your life. God is faithful to us everyday in every way. But so often we don't live our life by faith, trusting in His sovereignty. I Thessalonians 5:19 teaches us that we are not to quench the spirit. Literally by living an unfaithful life we drowned out God's blessings in our lives. If we believe he is, we will diligently seek him, live by faith and be rewarded (blessed). Have you had a "faith" check-up lately?

"But without faith it is impossible to please him; for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Hebrews 11:6

Content or Discontent...which are you? Full of joy, peace, and satisfaction ---or--- complaining, murmuring, and unhappy because you don't think you can trust God? Know you cannot please God without faith!

Okay the first question this week asks How do you define faith? Write down your answer and then let's look at what God says faith is. Look up Hebrews 11:1 then check to see if your definition is the same as God's. Read Romans 10:17 to find how we get faith? Read Romans 12:3 to find where faith comes from.

When you accepted Christ as you personal Savior, you read or heard what the Word of God said. You then by faith believed it to be true and trusted the Word by faith. According to First Corinthians 16:13 "in faith" we are to "watch, stand fast, and be strong". In 2 Corinthians 5:7 we are to "walk by faith, not by sight". Our human nature wants to "see" to believe. God want us to trust Him by walking in faith without sight.

Walking by faith becomes more natural as we grow in the knowledge of truth by seeking Him. We must stand fast and feed on the Word of God and we will mature in our walk of faith. In Psalm 25:15 David says "Mine eyes are ever toward the Lord." As we learn to live a life of faith, keeping focused on our Savior, He will carry us though the difficult times as well in the good times. This walk is spelled c-o-n-t-e-n-t-m-e-n-t. Will you take a minute and comment on people you've studied in the scriptures who have learned to fix their eyes on the Savior in times of difficulty and continued to walk by faith and live content...

Personally, my faith continues to grow as I experience life with God. My life verses, Proverbs 3:5-7, became key to me in a very difficult time in my life. I questioned God and could not reason, no matter how hard I tried, what in the world God was doing. I decided that if I really had faith in God I must trust Him, even if I didn't understand why. A few months later, it was very clear to me why God directed in my life the way He did. I'm so grateful He did change my path, it saved my life. God's does not always reveal His "reasons" and sometimes He does. Nevertheless the truth is we must trust Him.

As I remember my mother, a godly faithful wife and mother, a verse on contentment she often quoted was Philippians 4:11"Not that I speak in respect of want; for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." She would joke and say that no matter what state she found herself living (ie Washington, Nebraska, Kansas, North Dakota, Colorado, Iowa, Ohio) she would be content. But seriously, she was a godly woman who walked a faithful content life. She was not only a wonderful mother, but also a friend and mentor as I became a wife, mother, and pastor's wife.

What is your level of faith? Have you learned to seek God, stand fast, walk by faith not sight? Has God tested your faith lately? How did you respond? The "faith chapter", Hebrews 11 you can study those God choose to show to us as examples of faithfulness. Verse 2 says they fixed their eyes upon the unseen Lord, the author and finisher of their faith. Where are your eyes fixed? On circumstances or on God?

What area of your life do you have most difficulty trusting God? Remember Proverbs 3:5-7.

Faith to trust God, no matter the events, comes through the Word of God alone. If you are in the Word of God, seeking Him, you can by faith find contentment. Psalm 119:105 tells us that the Word of God is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. When we walk by faith we can take God's hand and let Him lead us through every step of the way.

Streams in the Desert is a wonderful devotional book first copyrighted in 1925. This week, July 6th the devotional was on this walk of faith. 2 Chronicles 20:12 "Neither know we what to do; but our eyes are upon thee." Stated in the book "If we wholly trust an interest to God, we must keep our hands off it; and He will guard it for us better than we can help Him. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him; fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Things my seem to be going all wrong, but He knows as well as we; and He will arise in the right moment if we are really trusting Him so fully as to let Him work in His own way and time. There is nothing so masterly as inactivity in some things, and there is nothing so hurtful as restless working, for God has undertaken to work His soverign will." - A.G. Simpson

FAITH: The First Factor in Finding Contentment--Is God asking you to walk by faith in some particular area? Has He asked you to trust Him in that area? Are you trusting only in what you can see, or are you trusting in God's Word?

Prayer: Lord, we thank you for loving me even when my faith is so weak. Help me Lord to walk by faith, trusting you alone. Thank you for the life of contentment I can have simply by trusting my life to you.

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